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/r/dating: vent, discuss, learn!

/r/dating: vent, discuss, learn!

You’ve got to be able to check off all the right boxes before you can know if a romantic connection has real potential—this means not only being an attractive human, but also having a long-term future-plan and being a generally fun person to be around. And after a few go-rounds, you need to know what you’re getting yourself into.

In no particular order, here are the things you need to do to get your high-school prom dates into bed.

1) Be confident, but not cocky.

Image by Michelle (Creative Commons)

Your best friend, your mother, your brother—they’re all going to tell you that confidence is key to getting girls. And they’re right: confidence is a major factor in how appealing you are as a prospective date. However, it’s key to tread lightly in this area. Too much confidence (as well as too little confidence) can be mistaken as arrogance and be off-putting to those with more delicate sensibilities.

Never try to get a high score on the Test of Maximum Likelihood of Getting Picked First: You’re not going to get that pre-med student crush by putting yourself on a pedestal and acting like you’re doing them a favor. Instead, make sure you are hitting all the right notes.

Don’t act like you know everything. You may in reality know quite a bit about a particular subject, but if you start talking about it as if you are a guru on the subject, you will come off as a know-it-all.

Learn to calibrate your level of expertise in any given situation. Don’t tell someone your entire business in the first thirty minutes of meeting them: say a bit about yourself, and only talk about your particular expertise when the other person asks for more information.

Be yourself, but understand that not all people are as familiar with your specific interests as you are, so make sure you know what you’re talking about and back up the conversation.

Always remember to play up your strengths as much as possible. When you’re first making a connection, focus your attention on the person’s hobbies and pursuits, the things that you have in common. If you know something about a person—for example, you spent a semester abroad—make that information as the thing you talk about. A good rule of thumb is to say, “You spend your summers in Key West?”

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If your idea of dating is heading to dinner, meeting up with a few buddies, or simply going to a club to dance and sip drinks, then this guide is for you. If you are willing to date differently in order to try and snag that special someone, then you may find yourself in good company.

It’s time to define the modern form of dating. Take a look around you and ask yourself these questions: Do I really want to meet people through dating websites? Am I better off swiping on Tinder than hitting up a party and mingling with strangers? Or, if I do enjoy the thrill of the chase, am I willing to settle for a mediocre date instead of something extraordinary? If you’re looking for love, then step away from your comfort zone.

There’s nothing wrong with dating a certain way, but being the type of person you want to date is pretty important. It’s not because you want to be difficult (though sometimes it can be). It’s because you want a partner who will encourage you to do better, and who will complement your unique style. So if you’re going to keep on dating like this, ask yourself the following questions before you go off on a date or head to a club. Take what’s working for you and what’s not and consider how you’re going to adapt your dating habits to get what you want.

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Do I want to date?

If you want a romantic relationship that lasts, and you’re ready to commit, you should probably swipe right. If you’d rather enjoy the company of someone with whom you can talk about anything from pop culture to the best places to eat or the hottest trend, and you’re open to a relationship, then you should probably swipe right, too.

Dating: Swipe to the left.

Why right? Because it could be that this person is just looking for someone to hang out with and not find a long-term partner. If that’s the case, you probably don’t want to swipe right. If that’s not the case, then ask yourself if you’re actually the kind of person who wants to date or you just want to mingle with people you know.

What are your dates going to be like?

If your goal is to meet people, then make sure you’re doing something you enjoy

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